For those following our adventures, I wanted to share this story. It is a difficult story for me to tell but I feel it is important in that it makes a statement as to just how blessed Dan and I really are. I guess my biggest hesitation is that I won’t do it justice. In a story as important as this, I want each word to be perfect. I know I’m not capable of perfection so I will have to settle for doing my best. All words seem inadequate, so I will take this one step at a time. I will begin the same way I start all my stories, at the very beginning.
Dan and I were both extremely fortunate to have amazing mothers. What happens when two amazing mothers become related through the marriage of their children? They become partners in crime. Just weeks after Elaine moved in next door to Gerry, the two were dubbed the “Bag Ladies of New Bern”. They got caught hoisting each other into dumpsters, diving for treasures. They raided the best yard sales early on Saturday mornings. They plotted, planned, schemed, and I frequently had to call and check up on what they were up to and make sure they were staying out of trouble. Despite their rebellious natures, they also were the heart and soul of their families. Their strength, wisdom, and unconditional love for their children was a constant source of inspiration. We both knew our mothers would do anything to see us happy.
My children grew up thinking it was totally normal to have two sets of grandparents living as next door neighbors. Dan’s father married us on the country club lawn in New Bern, NC. Dave and Elaine fell in love with the quaint houses nestled along the inland waterways and decided to make Fairfield Harbor their retirement home. They had kept their sailboat in the Chesapeake for 30 years, having to travel over an hour each way to sail, and wanted to retire somewhere they could be next to their boat. They just so happened to purchase the empty lot next to my parent’s house and built their home. For the next 20 years, the “Inlaws” and “Outlaws” were next door neighbors. Each had their sailboat tied to the dock outside their house. Now, as one big extended sailing family, it was the most natural thing in the world for Elaine and Gerry to become best friends and cohorts in crime. Both women were dominated by their outgoing, mischievous natures and general love of life. It was a match made in heaven.
Of course there is the saying about putting all your eggs in one basket. I will never forget Hurricane Floyd. Several hurricanes touched the outskirts of North Carolina and we often thought how tragically we could lose both our parents to one hurricane. During Floyd, the reports were that there was severe flooding and damaging winds ravaging New Bern. Dan and I feared the worst, picturing both sets of parents stranded in their homes, perishing from the intense devastation. In desperation, we called time and time again. Neither set of parents would answer the phone. Finally, Elaine answered her cell phone. In the background we heard wind howling, or wait, was that my mother? It was my mother. My parents had joined Dan’s parents on their porch to have a hurricane party. They had to canoe across the yard because of the flooding, but they were on the screened-in porch at Dan’s parent’s house, drinking Hurricanes and having a blast watching the Floyd blow on by.
When we visited on holidays, the kids capitalized on the fact they could dart between the houses, just a few yards separating one back door from the other. They would wake up and come jump on our bed. We would shoo them away and tell them to go to the other grandparent’s house and see what they were having for breakfast. This would buy us another half hour of uninterrupted sleep. Of course, the mob would race to the other house in their nighties, feast with one grandma, then race back to the other house and eat a second breakfast. One grandma was popular for her pancakes, the other for her sticky buns. The kids always saved room for both. Dinner arrived and we always combined the two households for one big meal. The grandmothers took turns hosting, contributing in some way to the feast. No matter who was cooking, the meal was always a celebration and the games and festivities lasted until everyone finally retired from exhaustion.
As our children grew older, they began to understand and appreciate our unique family situation. Every holiday they begged to spend with their grandparents feeling blessed to have one more chance to celebrate as a whole family. They knew the day would come, as the grandparents aged, things would change. It was only a matter of time. That time came way too quickly for all of us. We were hit with the devastating news that Dan’s mother was diagnosed with cancer, the fall of 2013. She battled valiantly for a year. By the spring of 2015, it was clear she was losing the battle. Everything was being done to keep her as comfortable as possible until her passing. My mother, her best friend and next door neighbor, was there to provide as much comfort during this difficult time as possible. Each day she would walk over to her buddy’s house and sit by her bed. The two would have long conversations about life, their children, their friends and family and about making the transition. Both God fearing women had been at the bedsides of loved ones who had passed, neither was afraid, and both looked forward to being reunited with those who had passed before. It was during these quiet conversations that my mother made a pact with Elaine. “Elaine,” she would tell her friend, taking her hand, “I want you to do something for me. When you get to heaven, you need to come back as a butterfly and land on me. When you do this, I will know you are happy in heaven and that all is well.”
Elaine would smile at Gerry, and nod. She made the promise to return to Gerry as a butterfly and let her know all was well.
Elaine made her transition in May of 2015 to visit her Lord and Savior and all those loved ones waiting for her in heaven. All who knew Elaine knew she would have a very special place in heaven as she was a kind-hearted and generous human being. While we knew she was out of pain and with her loved ones, the hole she left in our hearts and lives was immense. The entire family met in New Bern to say our goodbyes. However, because of all the wonderful memories she had created, were able to focus on celebrating as well. We celebrated her love, the sacrifices she made for her family and the important lessons we learned from her. Her life was a precious gift and we were blessed to have been able to be a part of it. Without her presence though, we knew things would never be the same.
Time passed. It was difficult to fill the void in our lives left from her loss. I would call my mom. I would ask her, “Any visits from a butterfly? Has Elaine reached out to you yet?”
“It’s only a matter of time,” my mom would say with confidence. “She will come. I know in my heart it will happen.”
Months passed. I had not seen my parents since the funeral. We finally found a time to get together toward the end of summer up in the North Carolina Mountains. My parents rented a condo and Dan and I drove down to spend a weekend with my brother, sister and parents. The weather was delightful as we golfed, took walks, and enjoyed the crisp mountain air. The Sunday before we left, we decided to go hiking in the rolling blue hills of the neighboring national park. We packed a picnic lunch and headed up the winding roads into the heart of the park. After parking and picking out a trail to hike, we headed off deep into the forest. Dan and I forged ahead at a quicker pace as my mom and a family friend walked slower, chatting, taking in the scenery. The two stopped a moment, lost in conversation. Just then, from the dense forest floated a gigantic, bright, blue butterfly. My mom held her breath as the butterfly landed on the foot of her friend. “This is it,” she thought to herself. “This is Elaine.” The butterfly eased its wings up in down as if floating on an invisible breeze and paused on our friend’s foot. My mother smiled and figured this was it. This would have to be her sign. Our friend had never had a butterfly land on her before and was caught up in the priceless moment. Then, as silent as the whisper of angel wings, the butterfly rose and alighted right on the top of my mother’s head! My mother gasped and stood as still as a statue. Tears of amazement, wonder, and love for her friend welled up in her eyes. “You don’t understand,” my mother whispered. “This is Elaine! She waited for Dan, for us to be together to visit. This is the sign she is in heaven and all is well.”
My mother couldn’t wait for us to meet at the end of the trail and relay her butterfly story. It had happened just like she knew it would. As she animatedly relayed the story, we hugged and were humbled with the thought we had been visited by an angel. We felt her presence in the shining sun, in the beauty of the mountains around us. It was truly a miracle and we were all believers.
On the way out of the park, we stopped at the park museum. We ambled through the various displays. In one section of the building were dioramas and pictures of the indigenous creatures that inhabit the mountains of North Carolina. I immediately picked out the butterfly display and asked my mom to identify the butterfly she saw. Both my mom and her friend looked at all the pictures, but there wasn’t a single large blue butterfly on the chart. Not one was close to the description they gave us. I made my way over to a park ranger and asked if there were any large, bright blue butterflies known to be found in the mountains that were not on the chart. He shook his head and told me he had never heard or seen any fitting that description.
Summer ended, fall and winter passed, and before we knew it spring arrived and it was once again boat shopping season. Dan and I were preoccupied with the pursuit of finding our boat. It consumed us, almost killed us, but finally we found the boat of our dreams. In the back of both our minds was a small sadness that Elaine would not be around to celebrate the fact we had finally found our boat. My mom and dad and Dan’s father had constant updates and reports on our progress. There was always something missing, like a completed puzzle except for that one missing piece. Elaine was always our biggest supporter in all our endeavors, but sailing around the world was concerning to her. We would have loved to have her see our boat, know how happy we were and take comfort in the fact we were fulfilling life- long dreams. Even though we knew she was watching over us from heaven, it was not the same as having her here.
Elaine did nothing half way in life. She continues that philosophy apparently, as she plays the part of our guardian angel. Dan and I found the boat of our dreams, nestled in a small marina in Brunswick, Georgia. The day we first looked at the boat, we descended into the cabin. Normally, nautical knick knacks, pictures of family, mirrors and such adorn the walls of the main cabin. This boat was the exception. On the wall above the settee was a large display of framed butterflies. Dan picked up immediately on the implications, but kept the sentiment to himself. He immediately felt his mother’s presence and her hand in the miracle of us finding this boat. In two short months after first looking at the boat, we sailed her back to North Carolina and picked my mother up in Beaufort to sail the last day with us. My mother climbed on the boat excitedly and descended the stairs to take her first look at the interior. When she turned and looked at the butterfly picture, not knowing it was there, she stopped with a stunned look on her face. The largest butterfly in the very center of the display was a bright blue butterfly. It was the very same size and color as the one that landed on my mother that day in the woods.
“That’s the one!” she exclaimed. “That’s the butterfly that landed on me!” Coincidence? I don’t think so. Elaine found a way to be with us in heart, soul, and spirit. We know she will always be with us on all our adventures. She found a way to comfort us and let us know she approves and will always be there. So as we transition into this new phase of our lives, our family situation will be different. We won’t have access to visiting our family members by driving a few hours in a car. It seems a bit overwhelming at times and we sometimes even question if we are doing the right thing. We can take consolation in that we have blessings from heaven, and our own personal guardian angel to watch over us. One can’t ask for any greater sign that we were meant to be on our way and following our dreams. That in fact, makes the two of us feel truly blessed.