“Christmas…that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance. It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance…a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved.”
Augusta E Rundell
When we made this crazy decision to sell our home and sail around the world, we knew there would be many concessions. We knew we would be reducing all our material possessions to what could fit on our 43-foot boat. We knew that life would not always be easy. The days of getting regular haircuts, splurging on a mani and pedi, and luxuries like having a car to drive to the grocery store, would be over. Celebrating birthdays with family members, throwing parties on our farm, visiting friends and family, and socialization as we once knew it, would no longer exist for us. Our lives would be very different, nomadic, trying at times, and subject to the whims of the weather and the sea.
Of all the adjustments, I knew the most difficult part for me would be being separated from my family at Christmas. While we have spent two of our Christmas seasons on the boat, we were very fortunate to have spent last Christmas with our family last year. I got to see the joy on my grandson Orion’s face as he woke up on Christmas morning to a train circling under the tree. We had a new grandbaby born a few days after Christmas welcomed our first granddaughter, Elaine, to our family. Our third grandbaby, Carter, was born shortly after Christmas in April. We were at his house as he came home from the hospital the day after being born.
We will be missing those cherubic little faces as they experience Christmas for the first time. We will miss the antics of a six-year-old as he revels in the mystery of Santa and his delight at the anticipation of all the gifts he will be opening on Christmas morning. So how are we coping with being so far from home, away from our loved ones, and in a foreign country this Christmas? Our plans to cross to the Caribbean were ruined when our in-mast furler system broke. We sit in a marina, without a mast, shipping of the parts delayed, the crew to do the repairs off for the next two weeks, and our plans for the next six months flushing like the water in our bilge.
Finding Joy in New Friendships
There is quite a parade down the docks of the Lagos marina. It seems to be the popular thing for young Europeans to trek around the world. Kids in their twenties are trying to see the world. They have visions of meeting up with a sailing vessel that needs crew members and hitching a ride across oceans. Some of these kids have some sailing experience, others have none. Eager to find a boat, sometimes single, others in pairs, the voyagers walk down the docks looking for a ride. Lagos is a popular launching point to the Canary Islands and everyone who had landed in Lagos was looking to spend the winter in these islands.
While we weren’t opposed to taking a passenger with us on the four-day passage to the Canaries, we don’t have a mast. We don’t know when we will have a mast. We don’t even know if we will make it to the Canaries this winter. We are not good candidates for even asking, yet we did have a plethora of these travelers peek their heads into our cockpit and ask if we might be heading to the Canaries. Obviously, these were not seasoned sailors as the lack of a mast on our sailboat should have been a serious clue as to the nature of our answer.
In the vein of how destiny plays a role in who we meet, even though we were not a candidate for travel, fate did not prevent our lives from intertwining with these travelers. I was rushing down the sidewalk outside the marina, late to a meeting with a few ladies about getting together to celebrate Thanksgiving, when a young man stopped me. He told me that I looked like someone who knew the area, and he was looking for suggestions as to where he might find information about finding a boat to go to the Canaries. I could tell by his accent he was German, he was in his twenties, polite, and I didn’t have time to chat but I also didn’t want to be rude. I quickly explained I was on a boat that wanted to get to the Canaries but we were delayed because of repairs. I told him briefly who he might contact, and told him we were on F dock if we could be of any help. He thanked me and I rushed off.
Our lady’s meeting complete, the Thanksgiving meal items delegated and all plans finalized, I headed back to our boat. The marina has several entrances to get to the docks. At each entrance is a locked gate. You must be a resident or paying visitor to get a card to let you in those gates. I took the gate closest to the café and was walking down the dock past the row of gates when I spotted the young man that stopped me earlier, standing at the gate to our dock. I thought to myself, “Well that was quick. I guess this guy is really anxious to find a ride to the Canaries.”
I walked up the ramp to open the gate for him and was a little surprised that he had a girl with him this time. I knew there was not anyone with him when we met briefly just an hour ago. I shrugged and buzzed the door open.
“Hi,” I said. The couple looked at me but didn’t say anything.
“You are looking to go to the Canaries, right?”
“Yes, we are.”
“You are German, right?”
“Yes, how did you know we are German and we are looking to go to the Canaries?” the young man asked.
“Um, I just talked to you an hour ago.”
“We have never talked to you,” the young man replied.
It was a strange coincidence to meet two young men in the span of an hour, both German, same color hair, same facial hair, almost the same height, and wearing identical green sweaters. But now that I had the gate open and the Canaries had been discussed, I felt it rude not to invite them back to our boat and give them some advice on finding a ride to the Canaries. Jonas and Johanna had actually met en route on their similar path to the Canaries. I brought them aboard Equus and listened to their story. Dan and I gave them advice on where to put up posters, what websites might be helpful, and any thoughts we had on finding a boat. Moritz and Johanna loved our boat and expressed that they wished we were able to go so they could join us. Joanna was not sold on the sailing part of getting to the Canaries and was looking into other options. We liked Moritz right off the bat and told him that if our mast did get fixed, and he was still looking for a ride, we would be happy to take him on the 4-day passage to the Canaries.
The next day, a familiar face appeared outside our cockpit. This was the first German I met. I said to Dan, “See? I’m not crazy.” Sure enough, the two not only looked similar but were even wearing very similar green sweaters.
Of course, we brought Jonas on board and gave him the same advice we had given Moritz. He also said that he wished we were going and that he could ride with us. He felt comfortable around us and loved our boat. I told him that if we were going, by any stroke of luck, we could only take one passenger. He would have to go find Moritz and break his leg because I liked them both and could never make a choice between the two of them.
During the course of the next few weeks, Jonas and Moritz visited several times. I finally got them both together for dinner on my boat and they became friends. They were both musicians, had their guitars with them, and had similar travel plans. Dan and I agreed that if by some miracle, we did make our repairs in time for the passage, they could both go. They were delighted. We told them not to get their hopes up as repairs don’t happen quickly in Lagos.
We hung out with the boys as they would stop by often for updates. Doing what I do, I always invited them to stay for a meal. One evening, Moritz invited some friends he had met in Lagos that were also musicians. We had an impromptu jam session in our cockpit. For me, the boys were filling in an empty spot I had in my life of being surrounded by my children’s generation. Dan and I truly enjoyed their youthful company.
When it Rains it Pours
Figuratively, not literally, thankfully, we have had an outpouring of friends and companionship as Christmas draws near. We have our regular friends in Lagos, Dave, and Trudy, whom we met in Ireland. We were delighted they were wintering in Lagos. They introduced us to Malcolm and Caz, and the four of us hang out regularly. Next, a couple we met in Cascais arrived unexpectedly in the harbor. We couldn’t wait to get together with them. Before we knew it, we had multiple engagements and social activities to attend. As our boat “to do” list is always huge and takes up most of our days, we struggled to find the time to visit with friends. While our social list was growing, as Christmas neared, I realized we had done nothing to engage in the spirit of the holiday.
Dan and I rarely go out into the town at night. We decided that a walk through town to see the Christmas lights was in order. It turned out to be just what the captain ordered. As we strolled through the streets of Lagos one beautiful evening, the streets adorned with decorations, the lights reflecting off the shiny street tiles, it was magical. We knew that even though we were far away from home, and not with our family, we needed to bring back the joy that we normally feel during Christmas. We had been failing miserably in this department.
On the walk back through the marina, the boats with their Christmas decorations lit up the harbor. The colorful lights reflected off the water around them. It’s a much different feeling than driving through a neighborhood with houses and lawns adorned with colorful lights and decorations, but it is still magical. We decided we needed to do our part to make our marina festive.
The very next day, we walked up to the “Chinese Store” and bought ourselves some Christmas lights. We adorned our cockpit with some colorful lights. We donned a string of white lights around the cabin, pulled up the Christmas music, and played a video of a roaring fire on our television. My mood instantly transformed to joyful and I found my holiday spirit. I thought about my family back home and instead of being sad that I couldn’t be with them, I looked forward to seeing them on January 8th when we all get together in the Dominican Republic. Christmas is a feeling, not a day, and I will enjoy their company and celebrate when we are all together. This freed me up to enjoy the moment, instead of dwelling on not being together.
Making Your Own Joy
It was during an impromptu hike on December, 16th, with the Lagos Navigators to a state park, when Dan and I met an adorable boat family from the UK. They too had boat repairs and ended up with an unplanned stay in Lagos. Their 9-year-old daughter was very disappointed not to be home for Christmas. As I got to know her during the hike, I found out that her one wish was for a Christmas stocking. They didn’t have any decorations, lights, or even a stocking on board. I had an idea to remedy that situation. I invited her to my boat to make her own stocking from sailcloth. I told her she could design and decorate her own stocking. She was thrilled and wanted to come over immediately after the hike. I told her we would make a date for the next day.
As I was explaining to my boat neighbor that I was having a friend over to make a stocking, she went below and brought up a string of Christmas lights. She asked if she thought my new friend might like some extra lights she had not hung on her boat. I knew that the answer would be a resounding “YES”.
Poppy arrived, very excited to make her stocking. We spent several hours cutting out her stocking, designing it, sewing it, and being the artist that she is, drawing her favorite character on it, Toothless Christmas Dragon. It was a huge hit and we both felt the joy of creating something fun, something to brighten up her Christmas. It warmed my heart when her mom sent a picture of the lights up in their cabin, her stocking hung with care.
During the hike, I also met Mary. Mary once lived in the US and now lives in Lagos. Her husband is British and a sailor. They have retired here. Mary loves to hike and enjoys meeting members from the sailing community. Mary and her husband offered to pick us up in their car and take us to the best pizza restaurant in Lagos. They assured us that we wouldn’t be disappointed. They didn’t lie. Dan and I experienced the best pizza we have had since Italy. It’s served in four-foot-long sheets. There are four sections to the pizza and you can customize each section with your desired toppings. It was pizza heaven.
Wanting to reciprocate their kindness, I offered to host dinner on our boat. We lit our lights, put on the fire, and I made appetizers for the cockpit, and fondue for the salon. It was a wonderful evening, Christmas Carols playing and lots of stories being told. And if that wasn’t enough, we received an invitation to attend their holiday party at their home on December 22nd. We will enjoy meeting new friends and celebrating in a home with a tree and all the comforts of Christmas in a house.
Our holiday went from joyless, focused on repairs and disappointment from our shattered plans, to feeling thankful, loved, and full of the magic of the season. We have friends to celebrate with, so many plans that we have every square on our calendar between now and Christmas filled with get-togethers. Last night, I had Jonas and Moritz over for dinner. Both were disappointed they didn’t find rides yet to the Canaries. Dan and I had a long chat with them about disappointments, being experts on that topic. We told them that life’s journeys don’t always go as expected, especially when you involve boats. They felt disheartened with all the planning and work that went into getting to Lagos as they both traveled by foot from Germany. They expected to be in the warm islands of the Canaries and were freezing, homeless, transients, missing their families. As I filled their bellies with homemade chili and cornbread, I gave them some advice.
Since it was apparent they would not meet their deadlines, they had a choice to make. They could stay here and be miserable, or go home and be with their families. They both felt as if they would be failures to their own missions, as well as in the eyes of their families if they gave up and went home. We explained that traveling and living a life of adventure can’t be measured by failure and success. There are going to be setbacks, deviations, changes of plans, but those are all part of the course. What’s important is that you enjoy the journey. If that means that if you chose to make an adjustment and go home for a week and spend Christmas with your family, it just means you have taken a side path. You can then pick up where you left off. That is not a failure, it’s a smart solution to a temporary delay. You have chosen between doubt and gratitude, between being lonely or feeling loved.
I saw the looks on their faces. The struggle was real. But by the end of the night, they resolved to find their way home, one by plane, one by bus. They would surprise their families on Christmas Day. And if by chance, when they return in January, if Equus is ready to sail again, we will have a bunk for them. We don’t have much to give anyone, but if we can share what we do have, we will always do that. After all, Christmas is the time to spread love, cheer, and hope. We have certainly been blessed. We focus on that and keep those positive feelings in our hearts even though we are far away from our loved ones. We have so much to be thankful for and that will be our focus during our Christmas in Lagos.
I’m sure we will get lots of photos of our babies on Christmas day. We will have Zoom calls and see their beautiful faces. We will hear their voices, and the stories of Christmas morning and Christmas day. Even though we are far away, thanks to technology, we can feel close, almost as if we are there. We will be hugging everyone and spending time with them soon, so for now, this is enough.
Sending joy, love, laughter, and the warm thoughts of your family and loved ones to you, wherever you are. From the Captain and First Mate of s/v Equus. Merry Christmas!
Fair Winds,
Alison and Dan
S/V Equus
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